Indulging And Depriving Yourself

"It's alright to indulge a little. You don't have to deprive yourself."

That's what they say. What I used to say. But I don't want to say that anymore. I want to enourage people to exceed their self-imposed limitations. I want to tell them they can resist temptation; not give them permission to yeild and yeild and yeild.

All my life, I've been indulging my addictions, and depriving myself of a better life.

I don't need anyone to tell me it's alright to succumb to my urges for immediate gratification. I need them to tell me I can withstand these tests, and remind me to have faith. I know there is a better life waiting for me.

Keep your cheese and fried junk. Some of us have a destiny to fulfill.

I'm already down on myself for not taking more steps forward, while everyone is telling me it's okay to take a step backwards. "Once in a while is alright." We say that, but then we indulge every day. We do it once, and we want to do it again. A little here, a little there, until it's all we know. Even our healthiest choices are unhealthy.

We're addicted to poisoning ourselves.

We're all sick. We don't even know who we are. We just stagger around, poisoned.

We've got salt scarring the insides of our veins, sugar spiking our blood-pressure, strange chemicals settling in our brains, clouding our judgement. Every cell in our bodies is congested. We can barely feel our hearts.

And it all seems normal. Everybody's doing it. We have no idea what it means to be healthy. We have no clue what we're capable of. So, when is it enough?

When is enough enough?

Most of us don't even want a better life. We're too sick, too weak, too tired, to shelter any hope. We'd rather embrace mediocrity, and convince ourselves how happy we are stuffing our faces with shit. Sure, we feel heavy, uncomfortable, exhausted after every meal. Sure, we're a breeding ground for disease. But it tastes good, so why bother acquiring a taste for food that makes us lighter, calmer, more energized, and not only preserves but encourages our health.

It's easier to go with the flow; go with gravity; slip into the pit.

Well I've played that game, and it's rigged. The dice are loaded with MSG.

Now I see the possibility for something more.

What if I respected myself and my life enough to fight for them? What if I made the most of the gifts I've been given? What if I became the man I am capable of becoming, and accomplished the goals I am capable of accomplishing? What if I tried?

I want it bad enough to try.

If I slip and fall, I'm not going to punish myself. Nor am I going to give myself permission to stay down. I'm going to get up, and try that much harder to recover lost ground. I'm going to keep walking, until I can run. Then I'm going to keep running, until I can fly.

And fly until I merge with the sun.

I'm that strong.